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Additional thought of Graham White in highlights.

So often I hear people say that they wish they could just remove the problems from their lives, then they would be happy and could enjoy life.

Really?  How can you enjoy what you have without relating it in some way to something that is not as pleasurable?

Consider that in North America, Christ is the mentor to the majority of those who follow a specific belief system.  If Christ is your mentor, would you choose to trade your challenges for the ones he had?

We must learn to welcome the challenges of life, not in a masochistic way, but in one that recognizes and takes advantage of the opportunity to learn, grow and rely on others.

What made me who I am?

Who can I be(come)?

What is my potential?

How do I achieve it?

Where am I at in my journey?

What is the step I can take next that will have the most dramatic impact on the results I experience?


You have to abandon the idea that you are powerless over the circumstances of your life.

Examine the pressures and beliefs you have bought into, which reflect the thinking of your immediate family, your extended family, your community, your religious grouping, your ethnic grouping, your educational/business grouping or any of a multitude of specialized units of people.  Determine the areas of your life that are jammed up with the teachings of those mind-sets, causing your personal evolution to be slowed down because what you truly desire or believe is not getting any energy from your unique individuality.

When you stay plugged into group consciousness, you are really saying, "I choose to evolve slowly."  Furthermore, that mind-set always give you permission to be weak and impotent.  You choose to evolve with a group rather than spontaneously, as your inner consciousness dictates.

You can control the speed at which change occurs in your life.  It you hear a voice behind your eyeballs that says, "Move forward," you no longer have to wait for everyone else to make a forward move before you take your first step.  You no longer have to run your suggestions through the group mind, which is meant to keep you safe and to discourage your individuality.

You are holding in your hands the "tightest" handbook I know how to write to teach the fundamental principles of personal development.

The key word I keep in mind as I write and allow these principles to manifest through me is the word "tight".  That mans no extraneous verbiage, no case studies and a minimum of quotations.  "Say what you want to say.  Say it simply.  Say it directly.  Say it from your heart and resist the temptation to overwrite."


Observe yourself scientifically and you will discover that you are not your creation.  If you did not create you, what was it that created you?

Consider how our biological system attracts what is needed for hair to grow, food to digest, fingernails to be hard or breasts to be soft without our thoughts directing the process.  When you learn to trust the natural process, you begin to trust the nature of how things really are.  Thinking can often lead us astray, while our nature unfolds in the form of amazingly well-functioning bodies and minds.

We can go back to conception and explain creation as one crop of human protoplasm colliding with another, resulting in your appearance in the form of a tiny speck that grew into the body that is you today.  But, if you delve further into those drops of human protoplasm and turn up the magnification on the microscope, and if you do the same with the speck that was your first experience of form, you discover the same truth that describes an acorn.  In the beginning is energy, energy that has no dimensions, energy that is not in the visible world.  This is our original self.  It is a potential to become something and nothing more.

God - Truth - Life-force ... I will refer to it as God.

God is often depicted as a white-bearded male who roams around the sky creating the natural world.  In this theory, the world is a construct and God the constructor.  This biblical God is paternal, authoritarian, beneficent and, in many ways, tyrannical.  He keeps track of all things and knows precisely what everyone does and when his laws are being broken.

One of the operatives of this theory of nature is the idea of punishment for one's sins.  This God/father holds us accountable for transgressions.  The transgressions are judged by various interpreters of his laws who throughout history have claimed access to the diving.  Essentially, the universe is a monarchy, God the king and we the subjects.  All subjects are considered born with the stain of sin as a part of their nature and are therefore unworthy and sinful.

This theory makes people feel estranged, creating an attitude of separateness from the boss.  The more we feel separated from this God, the more we feel the need to create some way of feeling worthy.  So we create an idea of our importance based on externals and call it "ego."


If you rely on your ego to get past the influences of the ego, it will only strengthen its hold on you.  If you feel that you are disconnected from the rest of humanity and truly a separate entity needing to prove yourself and compete with others, you will be unable to manifest your heart's desires.

Being independent from needing others to have a good opinion of you and not needing to be right are two powerful indicators that your life is shifting toward trust in yourself and God.

The people in our lives who we agree with and share similar interests with are easy to accept and actually teach us very little.  But those who can push our buttons and send us into a rage at the slightest provocation are our real teachers.

The person who is most capable of disturbing your state of peace is a person who is reminding you that you are not truly in the state of peace or enlightenment that results from trust.  At that moment, this person is your greatest teacher.  This is the person whom you want to treasure and thank God for sending into your life!  When you can transcend the rage, anger and upset which that person appears to provoke, and instead say, "Thank you for being my teacher," you have achieved a stage of development.

These people let you know each day how much more work you truly have to do and in what ways you have not mastered yourself.

The conditioned thoughts that will keep your ego in charge of your life and prevent you from materializing what you desire:

1.  I am not in charge of my life.  This is a perception you can change in any given moment.

2.  It's all a matter of luck.  Our lives are predestined anyway.  Blaming luck or some external invisible force that controls the universe leads to disempowerment and ultimately to defeat.

3.  I have tried before and it has never worked for me.  Here the conditioned response is believing that once having tried and failed, further efforts will yield the same results.  Just for a moment, stop and try to pick up a pencil from the table.  Just try to pick it up.  You will find that there is no such thing as trying.  You either pick it up or you don't.  Period.  What you call trying to pick it up is simply not picking up the pencil.


Having a philosophy is useless if it is simply an awareness of rituals and the teaching of experts.  To make your philosophy work for you it must become part of your daily life.


The ego promotes turmoil because it wants to substantiate your separateness from everyone, including God.  It will push you in the direction of judgment and comparison, and cause you to insist on being right, best and perfect.

Your highest self does not judge, compare or demand that you defeat anyone, or be better than anyone.

Self-acceptance is nothing more than a shift in consciousness.  It requires only a change of mind.  If your hair is falling out, then you have the choice to mask it, worry about it or accept it.  Acceptance means that you really have to do nothing.  You honor your body and the divine intelligence that is at work.  When someone else implies that you have a problem because your hair is falling out, you don't even know how to relate to their observation.   Acceptance removes the label of "problem".

To accept oneself is not necessarily to accept every behavior.  Rather, it is a refusal to engage in sabotaging acts of self-loathing.

Understand the importance of having harmony between your thoughts, feelings and behavior.  Addictive behavior will continue in your life if you remain incongruent.

See if your thoughts are congruent with your actions.  If you say you love your family, yet spend more time with your friends or at the pub, you are incongruent.  When you trust yourself, you are balanced and in harmony.  To be congruent is to be in touch with God.  Search your heart and be honest about any incongruency, thinking one thing, but behaving in another way.  Believe in your ability to transcend your issues and surrender your ego in pursuit of balance and harmony between your thoughts and actions.

When you accept total responsibility for yourself, you put yourself in the position of receiving and attracting what you desire.  If you perceive someone else is responsible for shortcomings, you are not in control of what you desire either.  This act of abdicating responsibility destroys your ability to reach what you truly desire.  The more you practice "My word is law.  I must keep it," the more balanced your life becomes.


Turn your most serious problems over to God in prayer.  This puts you into contact with something more powerful than anything you can find in a bottle, a bank statement, a partner or anything else.  After you try everything else, you're only left with trusting God.


Make the space you occupy sacred.  Fill your space with the life that plants, flowers and animals bring.  A hostile environment breeds discontent and keeps what you need and desire from manifesting in your life.  This is uncomfortably obvious in large cities, where very little respect has been paid to the immediate environs, where trees have been cut down, parks removed and most of it replaced with concrete, stores, high-rises and freeways.  The soul is removed when the space is not honored by builders or residents (Feng Shui).  What manifests is a hostile, frightening, non-loving world with people to match.

There is no reason to feel ashamed of wanting things to come into your life.  You are entitled to have abundance in your life, and to radiate prosperity to all that you encounter in your world.  Nothing is gained by making yourself small and insignificant other than to manifest smallness and insignificance in your life.


Learning from one's mistakes and taking corrective action are spiritually and psychologically sound practices.  You did it, you didn't like the way you felt afterward, so you decide not to repeat the behavior.  That is not guilt.  Guilt is when you continue to feel immobilized and depressed; those feeling keep you from living effectively in the present.

When you are filled with guilt, your energy is awash with anguish and self-reproach.  You are so down on yourself that you feel unworthy of receiving blessings from the universe or anyone in it.  Persistent feelings of guilt will prevent you from manifesting anything worthwhile because you are attracting the very same things that you are putting out.

Forgiving yourself means that you are able to extend love to yourself even when your perceived shortcomings are painfully evident to you.  You need to love yourself in spite of your perceived flaws.

A person who has experienced traumatic events in life, such as sexual abuse, the death of loved ones, traumatic illnesses, accidents, family disruption, drug addictions and the like, can become bonded with the past painful events and replay them for attention or pity.  These wounds of our lives can seem to give us an enormous amount of power over others.  The more we tell others about our wounds and our suffering, the more we create an atmosphere of pity for ourselves.

Attachment to pain comes from a perceptions that we are entitled to a pain free life.  If you have the propensity to feel like a victim, ask your family and friends to support you, then to gently help you move on.  When you continuously relive your pain, you do not do so for strength, but to experience bitterness.  That bitterness shows itself in hatred and anger as you discuss the events.

Be aware of the need to be grateful for the suffering and struggles that are part of the fabric of your life.  Sometimes it is easy to simply be angry at your suffering rather than to know that it is the catalyst for your searching and awakening.

Your ability to know the power of kindness and love most likely grew out of some darkness of pain in your past.  Without those experiences you would still be stuck.  Your own pain taught you how to be more present and loving with others.  Life gives exams!  Be grateful for those exams rather than critical of them.

Forgiveness is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed, but that is not forgiveness.  Forgiveness means that you choose to let go of the bitterness and the venom of hatred and begin to fill yourself again with love.  Unconditional love heals the body and the mind.  You don't need to try to fool yourself into unconditional love.  If you can't love the individual, be honest about it, but love the essence of the individual.

The most important thing that you will gain from cultivating unconditional love will be freedom from hate and violence.  When these thoughts are removed, you discover the presence of joy and peace.  This is an automatic reaction to unconditional love.

You are absolutely free when you are not consumed with your self-importance.  You are free when you no longer need to be stroked, coddled and approved of by everyone you meet.  You are free when you are no longer offended by the action of others.


Destiny is not preordained.  Destiny is ordained totally by you.  The idea that everything is already laid out for you in advance is a hallucination.  Once this illusion takes hold, you become a victim of life rather than co-creator within it.  You can and do manifest your own destiny.

Fear and love are unable to reside simultaneously within you.  The ego is where fear originates with constant messages that you are incomplete and need more, that you need to win to be better in comparison to others.  With its unceasing pressure, the ego keeps you in a constant state of turmoil and anxiety.


The three most common obstacles to an attitude of gratitude are:

1.  Faultfinding.

2.  Complaining - The complainer always feels shortchanged and deprived, and consequently becomes envious and bitter toward those who seem to have been blessed with what is missing in his or her own life.  The complainer feels isolated and separate from goodness and joyfulness.  Because the fullness of life seems to be occurring elsewhere, the complainer is full of ingratitude.

3.  Taking what you have forgranted - It is not about craving and demanding.  A need to hang onto the things and money that you receive arises out of an inner sense of incompleteness. Practicing generosity aligns you with your sense of completeness and love.  Focus on what you do have.  If you tried to make one list of everything you wish you had or wish you could change and another list of everything you are thankful for, which would be bigger, or which would be easier?

Think about what life would be like if you lived in another part of the world and didn't have the things you don't even thing about.  Fully appreciate the things, activities, freedoms and people you have in your life.

What would it be like if you lost a family member, your health, your home, your freedom?  Take stock of the privileges you enjoy in this part of the world and marvel at the ease and pleasure you are free to take part in.  The act of love discourages us from taking each other forgranted.

Become a person who is willing to tell those around you how much you appreciate them.  Make a concerted effort to say aloud how much you love your family members without making it a phony ritual.

Begin and end each day with an expression of gratitude and thanksgiving.  The natural extension of being grateful is the development of a generous heart.

You may have convinced yourself that giving is impossible because you have too little for yourself.  If you are not generous when it is difficult, you will not be generous when it is easy.  Who you are is determined by what you do when things are difficult not by what you do when things are easy.

Give without expectation of an acknowledgment.  The ego needs and demands credit as often as possible, and with a great deal of fanfare as well.  Keep your generosity practices private, without needing to boast about your great generous spirit.

Give yourself designated times and periods of time to practice being generous, particularly in offering service or in giving of your time.  I sometimes notice my young son out playing soccer by himself, kicking the ball and wishing in his heart that he had someone to play with.  I remind myself to forget about the zillion things that I have to do, my state of fatigue, my desire to watch a video or whatever, and I designate the next several hours to simply sharing my time with him.

It is not because I am so magnanimous but because it is my opportunity to practice being generous with my time and my love.  It also provides me with the glorious opportunity to do something I really love, which is to be with my boy, whom I love dearly.

Practice being able to receive.  Accept help when others offer it.  Allow others to do for you without feeling embarrassed or without feeling that your independence is threatened.  Remember that giving and receiving are the natural interplay of the energy of the universe.  It is the very source of your manifestation practice.

If you turn off the receiving side, you cut the natural flow of energy just as if you turned off the giving side.  Practice saying "Thank you, I appreciate that" even if your independent ego says "I didn't really need it."  Receiving is very much a component of the spiritual practice of manifestation, and you can work at allowing this into your life without gratitude and love.

When you contemplate the purpose of your life, you will discover that the only thing you can do with this life is to give it away.  You cannot hang onto anything in a constantly changing universe.  You cannot lay claim to anything.  It is all transitory.

You will find your purpose and your strength when you see that you are in a relationship with all other living things, and that you are purposeful and peaceful when you serve in some capacity.

The very purpose of manifesting is to serve more fully and to leave ego-dominated self-absorption behind.  Your well-being, which is the purpose of your manifesting practice, is genuinely and inextricably connected to the lives and well-being of others.  Essentially, your own interests are inseparable from someone else's interests.

We are in a constant state of service to each other.  By turning the purpose of your life into one of service and leaving behind your self absorption, you realize your purpose.  The only problem that you will encounter with a service approach to your life is in attempting to give or serve without love.  The moment that you put a condition on your service, or ask something in return, or expect your extension of the offer to serve to be returned with the appropriate thank-you response, you introduce conditional rather than unconditional love.  The imposition of the condition makes service empty.

That's why it seems so wrong for ministers or Tony Robbins to charge or make so much money.

Unless it's an overwhelming "YES!" say no.

Don't keep things that you only think you want.

Fill your life with things, people and activities that you are passionate about.  Don't settle for ok.  Enjoy fully what you have and wait for great.


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