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** GUARANTEE SUCCESS by Graham White  **
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There are only two ways we accomplish any task or habit:

1.  We were raised well and it has become part of our natural routine.

2.  Something significant happens and we choose to succeed, no matter what it takes.  This is the more difficult of the two.

 

The idea that having good habits instilled in us when we are young is easy to understand.  We all learned to get up, get dressed and head out to work or school.  Most of us have learned to do this in a way that allows us to arrive on time.

Those who did not develop the ability to be on time when we were young are an example of the second way to succeed.  Something must create significant motivation to cause us to develop this habit.  It may be getting fired from a job we really enjoy.  It may be losing an opportunity that was important to us.  It may be a very embarrassing moment caused by our lateness.  It may be an accumulation of moments that finally push us into action.

It has been described as "hitting bottom".  The challenge with this is that until you "hit bottom" you can't create the drive to overcome the challenge.  You may feel guilty, want to change, know how to change and even be part of a support group, but until your drive matches the challenge, it's impossible to succeed.

There are a vast number of programs that help people deal with any  issue.  Information itself is not enough, neither is desire.  It must be a combination of drive that matches the challenge, information and some form of accountability to achieve your goal.  If we didn't develop the ability when we were young, we have to "hit bottom" before we can succeed.

There are ways to "hit bottom" without destroying your life.  They are mental tools that allow you to take a look at the most dire consequences of your inability to succeed.  Here are some examples:

  • Imagine your life from the perspective of watching your own funeral.  What will people be saying?  Will you be proud of what you accomplished?  Have you hurt people or helped people that are important to you?  Do those who know you respect you, or simply tolerate you?  If you don't like what you see, YOU have to change.
  • Focus on the legacy you are leaving your children.  You can tell your children whatever you want, but it is your actions they learn from.  Your children become you.  Do you want them to have the same type of life, the same types of experiences, the same types of advantages or disadvantages that you experience?  If not, YOU have to change.
  • Write down everything you are losing or missing out on because of your behavior.  Rather than waiting for all of this to happen or continue, face the reality and use the realization that you are paying a huge price to motivate you to work on developing a new set of behaviors.  Dr. Phil calls it "Getting Real".
  • Look at the effect you are having on the people and activities that are important in your life.  Are you headed towards divorce?  Are you unable to do the things you enjoy because you are too busy or too broke?  Is the stress of your life pushing you to an early grave?  Are you alienating those you would like to spend time with because of your behavior?

Knowing this still won't be enough, but your awareness of these tools may move you to a place that causes you to take action sooner than had you not known them.

Knowing that you won't change until you are actually motivated to succeed no matter what the cost will hopefully allow you to decide not to waste your time until you have reached that point.

Something still has to be a catalyst that causes you to really want to make that change.  It may be an event in your life, an inspiring seminar or actually "hitting bottom".  

Graham White