"THE DNA OF SUCCESS" by Jack M. Zufelt 

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Additional thoughts of Graham White in highlights

I can't motivate you, you are the only one that can motivate you.  I want to empower you with the knowledge that you CAN achieve your Incredible Potential so that you can motivate yourself.

If you have any problems in your life--be they financial, marital, or parental--you will have to learn new ways to solve them.  With so much to learn, it is difficult to know where to begin.

Learning is not limited to going to school or getting a degree.  It's surprising that many people stop feeding their minds after a certain point (usually high school).  A large university once took a survey of its recent graduates and found that 90 % hadn't read a single book since they'd left school.

Life is difficult because it requires the four things we find hard:

  • Listening
  • Caring
  • Learning
  • Growing

Success Attitude = (Core Desires + Direction) X Proper Action + Persistence.  

Many successful people simply cannot explain what they do and how they do it to others.  It isn't that they're unwilling to share, but rather they lack the ability to do so.  They just don't have the ability to consciously break down the hundreds of steps that they do intuitively that contribute to their success.

If we are proactive and do the things that are difficult before they are forced on us, when situations outside of our control happen, they are easier to deal with.

Motivational speaker, although they are entertaining and enlightening, do no create change in people.  People stay motivated for only a short amount of time before life catches up with them again and forces them into the same pattern they were living before.

WHY WE FAIL:

  • We don't know what we truly want
  • We expect too much too soon
  • We stop at the first sign of difficulty,  instead of persisting a little longer to attain our goal
  • We habitually compare ourselves with others and see all that they are and we are not
  • We are intimidated by the enormity of the task and tend to do nothing (procrastination)
  • We can't see the end of the tunnel, so we believe our condition is a permanent state

IDENTIFY YOUR CORE DESIRES

Core desires are the things you want so badly that you will do, or become, whatever it takes to get them--no matter how hard it is or what the risk.  When you're pursuing your core desires, you experience ongoing constant gratification.  You lose yourself in what you're doing.

Most things that are worth achieving require that you put great effort into them.  Usually, the more worthwhile the desire is, the more effort it will require.  You won't put forth all that effort unless you are pursuing a true desire.

What makes work work?  When you don't like it.  When you love doing something, you don't mind the effort required; in fact, you may call it fun.

Have you noticed that when you have your heart set on something it usually happens?  Why?  Because in the pursuit of your heartfelt desires, you exercise real initiative, resourcefulness, creativity and endurance--you simply find a way to make it happen.  You do whatever it takes to get you what you want.

Don't let anyone tell you that success has to do with money or power.  Success has to do with living on your terms and ultimately making a difference.  To live your days in such a way that if the time comes where you face some kind of illness, or if something happens that changes your path and shortens your days, that you can say, 'Okay.  If today is my last, I'm prepared.'"

Don't make a choice of any kind, whether in career or in life, just because it pleases others or because it ranks high on someone else's scale of achievement, or even because it seems the logical thing to do.  Make the choice to do something because it engages your heart and your mind--all of you.

We know that there is a better way to live, but often we keep this thought to ourselves because we are not sure what to do about it.  Creative people are playful and responsible at the same time.  They work not for the result of the work they are doing, or for fame.  They work for the sheer joy and exhilaration of doing it.  It comes from a deep desire to create something beautiful.  Each of us can spend our lives doing what we love to do.

Inherent talent--an inborn predisposition--is the wiring in one's system that is unique to each individual.  We can either identify and develop the specific talents and capacities we have or leave them buried.  Peak performers find compelling reasons to cultivate relevant inherent talents.

Wouldn't it be great if everyone could identify their Core Desires before going to college, or at least within the first year?  Just think how much time and money would be save.

IDENTIFY WHAT YOU DESIRE MOST:

  • What make you happy?
  • What makes you laugh?
  • What would I love to do to help others?
  • What do you want for your spouse and children?
  • If you didn't have to worry about money, what would you do?
  • If you had these things, what would it give you and how would it make you feel?

Money cannot make you happy, but it can rid you of many things that make you unhappy.  To make a lot of money and to prosper are not selfish acts.  It is an intelligent and caring person's responsibility to use his or her purpose and potential to achieve prosperity in all areas of their life.

TEN TIPS FOR FISCAL FITNESS 

  1. Want to make more money so badly that you will do whatever it takes--for as long as it takes--to make it happen.  
  2. Love what you are doing, not just part of what you're doing.
  3. Believe in your product and service and know your field.
  4. Believe that you are worth listening to.  Others will have confidence in you when you believe in yourself.
  5. See yourself as a leader, someone who has something important to contribute.
  6. Find mentors to emulate-not only what they do but who they are.
  7. Be teachable.  Learn whatever your mentors are willing to teach you.  
  8. Believe that every problem has a solution and that no problem is big enough to stop you.
  9. Get out of your comfort zone and take risks.
  10. Acquire and present an air of confidence in yourself and whatever you do.

In the financial area of your life, do you INSIST become part of your life?

If you answer "To be financially independent", this may rate an 80 on a scale of 1-100, but it is not your Core Desire.  Ask yourself the question: "If I were financially independent, what would that give me that I don't have now?"  You may answer, "It would give me the freedom to do what I please."

Ask yourself, "If I were free to do as I please, what would that freedom look like?  What would that give me that I don't have now?"  This is where people get stuck.  Often they have a hard time clearly defining their answer, so they repeat the previous answer.

If you find yourself getting stuck, just ask the question in a different way: "If I were financially free, what would that give me that I want but don't have?  What feelings would that give me?"

You may say, "Oh, I know!  I could spend more time with my family!"  Or "I could quit working at a job I hate."  These emotional responses are your CORE DESIRES.  These are the 100's, and you should only spend your time and energy pursuing desires that hit the 100 mark on your Core Desires Scale.

If your answer were: "If I were financially independent today, I'd be free from the stress and worry of not paying the bills," you'd not be far from your true Core Desire.  But what words jumped out at you as you read that last answer?  Were they paying the bills or free from the stress and worry?

If you chose the latter, you'd be right on.  However, there are many ways to reduce stress and spend more time with the family, even without being financially independent.  Being financially independent would be nice, but what you really want is to be free from the worry, stress, or guilt of not being with your family as much as you would like.  Knowing that stress and worry are the real issues could give you many more options for achieving those Core Desires.

It doesn't take being financially independent to be free of guilt or worry.  You may need more money, but just how much more money would it take?  You'd be surprised by what saving two hundred dollars a month would do.  It might take some aggressive budgeting or reducing your car payments by selling your second car.  Just changing your attitude can rid you of heaps of worry and stress.

In your social life, what would you like to have that you're not getting right now?

You may answer, "I just love helping others, and I'd love to do that more."  Again, this may be a 90 on your scale, but it is not your Core Desire.  Ask yourself, "If I were able to help others more, what would that give me or make me feel that I am not getting now?"  When you answer "It makes me feel valuable, important or appreciated," these are Core Desires.

In the area of self-esteem and self image, what would you like to have in your life that you don't have right now?

You may say "I'd like to be more confident around people."  Though this may be true, it is not your Core Desire.  "Having my thoughts and feelings heard and validated is important to me," is the thing that matters and is your Core Desire.

If you had ______________, what would it give you that you are not getting now?

Procrastination comes from not wanting to do something or not knowing how to make it happen given your circumstances.  Sometimes it is too painful to keep looking at what you really want but believe you can't ever have, so you never look at it.  This doesn't make the feelings go away, it just pushes them deeper down into your heart.

It's not a matter of can you learn what it takes, it's a matter of do you want to learn it.  When you want something enough, you will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to get it.

Having a life in which everything you do is driven by things you love to do or be is the most satisfying and fulfilling way to live.

When you identify and focus on your Core Desires, you unleash the Conquering Force--that potent, God-given force that causes everyone to accomplish everything and anything.  This unstoppable Conquering Force already resides within you.  Everything that you do, have, or become is a direct result of it.  It is the reason you have achieved anything of significance to date--including learning how to walk, talk, tie your shoes, drive a car, swim, ski, play an instrument or sing.

When you act on your Core Desires, the outcome is often far grander than what you might imagine.  Outcomes are often not what you expect and yet you always find yourself completely satisfied with the way things work out.  (Wally Amos)

We can rise to any height when we passionately believe that our lives are wrapped up in a cause that gives us a sense of meaning and significance.  When we see how our efforts contribute to a larger cause, or a worthy purpose, we fulfill one of our deepest desires--the desire to make a difference.  When we know that our lives, and our work, have meaning, we still have energy at the end of the day.  

When you're driven from within, nothing can stop you!

Many people think opportunity only knocks once; others believe it knocks may times.  Opportunity doesn't knock at all.  YOU must knock.

SERENDIPITY

Incredible things happen independently of those you personally create.  When you're pushing hard on door A, someone or something opens door B.  Often, when you look through door B, what's behind it is much better than what you were going after in the first place.  However, you wouldn't have seen door B open if you hadn't been in the hall pushing door A.  When you have faith and confidence in yourself, you will do more and attempt more.

Everyone is "just-a" human being with all the abilities and attributes God gave us at birth.  We can do, have, or become whatever our hearts desire.  The potential of any human being is immense.

Don't listen to negative people who have never accomplished what you intend to do.  People cannot bring you to a level they have never achieved, but they sure can be discouraging.

Tiger Woods said that he was fascinated with golf because his father seemed to enjoy it so much.

EVERYTHING INVOLVES RISK

In order for people to succeed in business they need self-confidence, drive and energy, the ability to deal with uncertainty and confusion and finally, persistence.  These attributes come naturally when you're doing what you truly want to do.

Many people dart from one hot deal to the next, like moths to a flame, thinking each will be their golden opportunity, but getting burned every time.  Why?  Because they don't change or become the kind of person it takes to make money from any business opportunity.

Many income opportunities exist, and many individuals who get involved make a great deal of money.  Yet many more individuals get involved in the same opportunities and never achieve financial success.  Although the company, the products, the training and the commission structures are the same for everyone, only those who are doing it because it is part of their Core Desires will ever have the success they truly seek.

Money is the seed of money and the first dollar is sometimes more difficult to acquire than the second million.  Jean Jacques Rousseau

Your ability can be obscured by your personal appearance.  Thousands of people have a self-imposed handicap because they don't present a sharp personal appearance.  (makeover shows)

Your outward impression can determine the level of your success.  Studies have shown that actors with no experience in a field who are shown how to make a good impression will get the job over someone who actually knows what they're doing, but doesn't have the polished appearance or interpersonal skills.  You are perceived to be successful when you appear to be successful.

We all have unique gifts.  The challenge we are faced with is to discover our gifts and then make full use of them by serving others.  That is how we are fulfilled.

Men and women receive love differently.  The primary way to love a man and help him get in touch with his feelings is to appreciate him for what he does.  You must repeatedly send him the message that he makes a difference, that his actions are worthwhile.  You must also let him know that when his actions are mistakes, they are forgivable.  You must assure him that he is accepted just the way he is.  If you try to correct him or tell him what to do, he will only resist.  And if he does not resist he will weaken; he will lost touch with the inner guidance that he needs to control his actions.  Women need to feel in control of their feelings.  The way to nurture a woman's soul is to give her the support she needs to freely express herself, to talk about her feelings, her wants and wishes.  Don't try to correct her feelings or talk her out of her feelings.  If she is feeling bad or afraid or angry, do not be critical of that.

Once we have learned how to make a difference in our partner's life, we can go out and make a difference in the world.  When you give of yourself without expecting anything in return, you become a bigger person."  John Gray

People will not remember exactly what you said, but they WILL remember how you treated them.

Far too many people are trying to do more to be happy instead of trying to be more.

Don't do more, BE more...then you can do more.

There are bad habits...like smoking, and there are undeveloped habits...like not being organized.  You may know how to do it, you just do it badly, or have a poor idea of how to do it.  What you need is the knowledge and the practice and you can finally achieve your goal.

Some are created as easily as pressing a button on your computer, but most take time, sometime years to fully develop.

Remember that growth is a patience-testing, step-by-step, lifetime process and adversity is part of it.  Problems, barriers, and even major disasters are a part of life.  It is up to you to decide to deal with them.

How do you learn to ask the right questions?  You focus on the solution, not the problem.  Ask questions about achieving the solution, not overcoming the problem.

We choose if--and how--we grow.  Life gives us the opportunity  to grow.  Whether or not you grow is your choice.  People who risk little, grow little.  

Change requires that you make different choices.  You always have choices and you control the choices you make.  Lasting dynamic personal growth takes place within your heart.  If you can change your heart, you can change your destiny.  

You may not experience immediate growth just because you accept a truth in your mind; you must also feel it in your heart.  Your mind has the ability to learn and apply what it knows; your heart provides the reason to put the knowledge to work.  

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