***  Unconscious Competence ***   Graham White

As part of the process for preparing material for the books I'm writing, I do interviews with people I feel best represent the qualities we want to have in our lives.  The comment I hear most often is, "I don't know if I really have anything to offer but you're welcome to interview me if you like."

I was recently talking with the father of the Canadian skating legend Kurt Browning.  His comment captured the sentiment of understated accomplishment: "We didn't really know what we were doing (as parents).  We just did the best we could like everyone else"

In an age when so much information is available to us, we're unconscious of the knowledge within ourselves.  There were very specific things that Kurt's father did that are common among all great parents and missing in families that don't raise the same type of children.  "Don't push your kids.  Let them be who they want and encourage them when they find it," is one of the things Kurt's dad mentioned.

How many parents do you see screaming at their kids, the coaches or the referees from the sidelines?  Why don't they just fall into being the type of parent Kurt had?  They are just as unaware of what they don't know as Kurt's father was about what he did know.

What does it matter if you could be aware of the special abilities that flow through you on a regular basis?  

Imagine if you were a parent of a talented young athlete, what would it be worth to you if Mr. Browning were able to describe in detail all of the principles they made as part of their family's life that contributed to helping Kurt, a child with natural talent, go on to become a world champion.

Imagine if you were an aspiring young athlete who wanted to become the best.  What would it be worth to you if Kurt could put down in detail all of the details that worked together to help him become the best in the world!


I've interviewed a number of people who are very successful - financially, as parents and contributors to their community.  It struck me as unfortunate that they were so capable at doing what they were doing, but because they did it so unconsciously they weren't passing on those same strengths to their children.  Most self-made millionaires don't teach their children the principles that made them millionaires.  Instead they attempt to make their children's lives easier than their own by giving them the things they didn't have - in the end, creating children who don't know how to work for what they want.

My wife's mother is exceptionally well organized, she's also a pretty good cook.  Her father has a well developed system for keeping records of all personal and business financial details.  Both of them do these things so naturally that they didn't know that they were as important to teach their children as Math and English.  Now they have two really great kids - but both are challenged by the things their parents are a natural talent at.

 Becoming Consciously Competent:  

  • Do it in order to begin living your life's purpose:  As you become more aware of the gifts that you naturally possess, you are able to begin focusing your life and your work into areas you have tremendous passion for.  You begin contributing to those around you with what you do well.  

  • Do it in order to find a better job:  I don't know how many times I've been working with someone looking to change careers and their comment is, "You mean I could really do that?  I'd love to do that!  I do it all the time, but I never thought anyone would actually pay me to do it!"

  • Do it in order to become a better parent:  The things you do poorly your kids will pick up on without any instruction from you.  The things you do well and assume are common sense are things they may struggle with unless you teach them the details behind what you do.  If you get along well with others, teach them those skills, if you cook well begin getting them to do it with you (boys too), if you keep a clean orderly house don't just give them chores to do, tell them how you clean that bathroom and how you organize that closet and they will have those skills when they move out on their own.

  • Do it to leave a legacy after you're gone:  If you don't know what you're gifts are, chances are that others may appreciate you as a person but won't learn how to do what you do for themselves.  Take time to begin writing down what you know about what you do.  You may think it's not worth much, but your grandkids and future generations may find it to be a goldmine of information.

  • Do it to become a millionaire:  How many times have you heard the story about someone with a simple little idea or family recipe that went on to become wealthy and famous?  What would have happened if they had simply taken it forgranted?  They would have enriched the few lives they came in contact with, but never could have shared their gift with the millions who eventually became customers.

We all have these gifts.  If you don't know what yours are and would like to begin defining a life of conscious excellence, the ACHIEVE program is specifically designed to make you aware of your gifts and capitalize on them while overcoming your challenges using the strategies others have proven successful.

If you would like to begin the journey of becoming consciously competent, if you would like to begin living a life that is more true to your real purpose, if you want to begin contributing to the world in a powerful way - contact me

Graham White